I'm Not a Nut - Elect Me by Anthony Morgan
Trades Hall Council
Chambers until Oct 19, 1997
Reviewed by Kate
Hebret around Oct 9, 1997
The Council Chambers
of the Trades Hall are unintentionally decorated with nouveau "distressed
paintwork". Morgan paces the floor, tilting away from his
official-looking lectern and debate cards and tossing off policies peppered
with satirical jabs at every side of the political arena. He is gaspingly funny
and outrageous.
"Right-wing Anthony", candidate for the "One
Australia is good enough for all of us Party", proposes hanging for any
old offence. A bit of rope can do plenty of hangings and can't be privatised.
Parliament needs 'a decent sort of Fascist'; one with time
on his hands who isn't abandoning the fish and chip shop. An out-of-work
stand-up comic fits the bill.
To solve the tariffs issue, he will stop imports. He will
privatise everything, eliminate social security and, to improve morale, call
the 'Jobless' the infinitely more positive, 'Dole-Full'.
He supports 'Shooting
Galleries' for junkies: the kind with rifles. Agent Orange-ing, feral greenies
would end the environmental argument. 'Right Anthony' would apply the Kemp
theory of funding: "You're not learning - so I'm gonna take all the money
out of education."
Anthony Morgan is a Comedy Butterfly Effect. There is order
in his Chaos Theory. No matter how circuitous his path or how bizarre his
theory, he always returns to the gag.
ˇI'm No Nut - Elect Me is Morgan at his best.
He campaigns for two political parties and two parliamentary seats: one
Far Right and the other Far Left. He figures if he wins both he can straddle
two seats in the Canberra.
The second half is devoted to Comrade "Left
Anthony" of 'The Australian Bloody
People's Action Group' (ABPAG) who invited a clutch of Pollies to debate the
topic, 'Privatising the government'.
He supports old values. Nationalising bread would end the
interminable search for the perfect sourdough loaf. Diplomatic lunches would be
bangers in bread with sauce. Revive the Woodchop and make the O'Toole family
national heroes. He regrets the gentrification of the Post Office. "Where
can the slow and the stupid work?' On drugs: "I want phonetic spelling for
marijuana".
His Q and A session addressed Human Rights. 'The right to be
human is not much to aspire to; it may be better to aspire to be dogs. Direct,
friendly and kind to old dogs. Vote One Anthony Morgan - Right or Left!
KATE HERBERT
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